sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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