I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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