I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
So much rum. So many feels.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
