I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
