there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
