you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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