Acid is not a monday night drug
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
