HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
