clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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