Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
