OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Randomize
