Your tits are I can't wait for
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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