I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
