You're completely useless in the revolution.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
