so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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