There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
