just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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