You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
