i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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