The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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