please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize