quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
