Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
