we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
