ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
