West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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