At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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