My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Sorry my hands just texted you
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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