Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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