Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
