If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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