just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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