She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
