Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
