States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
