What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
