two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
