Quick, to the slutcave!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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