Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
