i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
