check it out our google latitudes are spooning
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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