This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
