So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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