I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
