i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize