i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
4 words: hood of his car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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