Small penises have feelings too.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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