I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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