maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
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i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
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How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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