I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
