Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
