Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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