I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
