I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
