so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
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