Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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