East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just want nice things and good sex
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
