i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
