Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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