me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
